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Fun on Friday: Sometimes You Have to Laugh at the Absurdity

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Last Thursday, we embarked on a journey through the Southeast for business purposes and to check up on our kids who live in Kentucky. In case you were wondering, it is as crazy out there as you might imagine if you’re sequestered in your home following events through the news or social media.

Don’t worry; we practiced social distancing…mostly. And there was a lot of hand-washing.

Honestly, it was a bit surreal seeing empty store shelves and watching restaurants shut down. As I have discussed, this whole thing is going to have significant economic ramifications, on top of the health issues. But there were also quite a few funny things out there. And sometimes, you just need to sit back and laugh at the absurdity.

First, let’s talk about masks. There are varying opinions on the effectiveness of masks in stopping the coronavirus. I can certainly understand why people would wear a mask. I mean, it can’t hurt, right? But let me give you a little mask-wearing tip. It needs to cover your nose. I saw more than one person with the mask over their mouth and not their nose. Fact: air comes out of your nose. So does snot when you sneeze. So, pull that mask up.

And while we’re on the subject of protective gear, wearing rubber gloves isn’t a bad idea. Wearing the same rubber gloves all day is less than ideal.

Come to think of it, I probably should wear rubber gloves. I have discovered that I cannot resist the temptation to touch every single handrail in existence. Even while consciously trying not to touch things, I was grabbing handrails.

We went into stores in more than one state and it was the same everywhere —  empty shelves. But I found some of the things that were sold out a bit perplexing.

Toilet paper was the biggie. The run on TP started early on. Why? The coronavirus is a respiratory infection. It doesn’t give you the craps. If anything, there should have been a run on tissues. But nope. People went for toilet paper. I guess people figure if civilization is about to collapse, they at least want to have a clean butt.

In Florida, there is a run on bottled water. What … are they going to turn off the water to fight the virus? There is exactly no reason to believe this would happen. I think Floridians just figure that every disaster is a hurricane. When a hurricane is coming, you buy water. So, when coronavirus is coming, logically, you buy water.

Actually, I’m being a bit unfair. If you’ve ever drunk Florida tap water, nasty doesn’t adequately describe how nasty it is. People are probably thinking that they might be quarantined and they don’t want to risk whatever disease the water might have in it. It could be worse than coronavirus.

I will conclude with the most absurd thing we saw on your journey.

Ummm, I don’t think hot food is the problem. I mean, do they think a virus can’t be on cold food? I’m totally flummoxed as to the reasoning here.

A friend of mine offered a translation.

“We sent the cooks home. But you are welcome to cereal and milk.”

My wife had an even better translation.

“The chick who is supposed to be here said, ‘Screw it, I’m binge-watching Netflix this week, ‘cause the gubment says you gotta pay me even if I don’t show up! See ya, suckas!’”

So there you have it! Be safe and enjoy those MAGA-Bucks!

Fun on Friday is a weekly SchiffGold feature. We dig up some of the off-the-wall and off-beat stories relating to precious metals and share them with you – with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Click here to read other posts in this series.

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About The Author

Michael Maharrey is the managing editor of the SchiffGold blog, and the host of the Friday Gold Wrap Podcast and It's Your Dime interview series.
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