If you’re on social media, you’ve seen the memes. They all start with some interesting string of facts and end with “…and Epstein didn’t kill himself.”
In case you’ve been under a rock, or just have better things to do than follow the news, Jeffrey Epstein was a well-connected financier and convicted pedophile. When I say “well-connected,” I mean he hung out with the rich and powerful, including Bill Clinton and Donald Trump.
Since moving to Florida, I’ve been able to spend a little bit of time on the beach. It’s interesting watching what people pick up. You can kind of categorize people based on their haul of beach-combing treasures.
First-timers to the beach will basically pick up anything. Broken cockle-shells are worthy of the newbies’ treasure bag, as are sticks, feathers and generic rocks. Hey – it came out of the ocean. It’s probably a whale bone!
Fun on Friday is supposed to be, well, fun. But I also like to offer useful advice. So this week, I have a tip for you. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants you to send them a bunch of money in order to help them sell gold, don’t do it. It’s a scam.
Seriously. Just don’t. Don’t send people you’ve never met money.
I saw a tweet this week by Paul Krugman asserting, “What we do have is a persistent problem of weak demand; yes, we have full employment now, but only with extremely low interest rates, which means little ability to respond to the next downturn. This makes a strong case for a big government investment program.”
Ah yes. It’s the Keynesian solution to every problem. Just spend more money!
When I was a kid, we used to play the opposite game. Everything you said had to be the opposite of what you meant. For example, if you were hungry, you’d say, “I’m not hungry.” Or if you really liked the song on the radio, you’d say, “This song sucks.”
Well, politicians play the opposite game pretty much all the time.
So, what do you have in your basement?
My house in Kentucky is built on a concrete slab. And right now I’m in Florida. Here we call a basement an in-ground pool. So, I can’t really answer that question. But my grandfather had a basement. It was full of junk.
I’m guessing that’s probably the norm.
Did you hear about the Venezuelan nationals who got busted trying to smuggle $5 million worth of gold bars into the US through a Fort Lauderdale airport?
The duo had 230 pounds of gold stuffed into the nose of a private Cessna jet. Customs officials discovered a hidden compartment when they noticed some loose rivets on the nose and decided to take a closer look.
My potty got jacked.
There are four words you’ll probably never say. Who steals toilets, right?
But your problem is you don’t have a solid gold toilet. If you did, it might indeed get jacked. In fact, burglars snatched a 18-karat gold potty valued at about $6 million out of Blenheim Palace in England.
It’s Friday the 13th!
You know what? It already seems lucky to me. Heck, it’s Friday. That’s a pretty good start!
I’ve never been one to get all torqued up about the number 13 anyway. In fact, I kind of like it. My preferred hockey number is 33 in honor of Patrick Roy and just because it has nice symmetry. But if it’s not available, I’ll go with 13. Why not mock the number gods, right?
Did you know that Snopes has fact-checked the Babylon Bee on multiple occasions? True story. In the obsession to root out “fake news,” fact-checking sites have resorted to fact-checking satire and parody articles.