Uh oh! You know something good is coming, right?
Here it is — Florida man refuses to pay for gold-plated steak he didn’t order, Salt Bae calls cops
Have you ever had one of those experiences where you knew something was too good to be true, but you were still disappointed when you found out it really was too good to be true?
Did you have a piggy bank when you were a kid?
I did. And it almost never had anything in it.
We’re less than a week away from New Years Day and I already have my 2020 resolution queued up and ready to go.
Wanna know what it is?
I hereby resolve not to make any New Year resolutions!
I love this season. In my never-to-be-humble opinion, Christmas really is “the most wonderful time of the year.” I love the songs. I love the decorations. I love the food. (A little too much, as the scale will confirm on Jan. 1.)
I also love the memories. And now I’m going to wreck one of yours. I apologize in advance.
Remember a few weeks ago, I told you about earbuds that are covered in 18-karat gold? Well, I’ve found just the thing to plug them into. And it would also make a great Christmas gift. Or something. It’s the gold-and-diamond encrusted “Jesus phone.”
No. I’m not making this up. Honestly, I kind of wish that I was.
But no, this is a real thing.
Moving is awful.
I’m speaking from recent experience. We are in the process of moving from central Kentucky to northern Florida. I say “in the process” because you don’t just move. It consumes your life for months on end.
So, did you go Black Friday shopping this morning?
I didn’t. In fact, I have never gotten up to join the Black Friday hordes. There isn’t a Walmart deal that can entice me to go shopping at 5 a.m. I like to sleep more than I like saving a few bucks. Not only that, I worked at Toys R Us in my younger days and once had to break up a fist-fight over a Power Ranger on Black Friday. It’s scary out there. You need to be careful.
Remember a couple of months ago when I told you about the stolen toilet? Well, they still haven’t found it.
For those of you who missed that one, you’re probably wondering why on earth anybody would steal a toilet. Well, it was made out of gold. Eighteen-karat gold to be precise. The golden potty was valued at about $6 million. Theives stole it from the Blenheim Palace in England.
People spend a lot of money for headphones and earbuds. I totally get it. I’m a bit of an audiophile myself. There’s nothing like good music played through good-sounding headphones. But in my never-to-be-humble opinion, a lot of the high-end headphones are utter crap. This is because of the obsession with boosting the bass.
Hey! Whoever just said, “OK boomer,” I heard that! And I’m not a boomer. I’m an X-er. So turn up the Nirvana.