Do you want to maintain your youthful appearance?
Drink a 16th-century concoction made from gold!
Of course, the main reason it will keep you looking young is that it will kill you young. But if you’re OK with that little side-effect, this just might be the anti-aging solution you’re looking for.
I’m a pretty cynical person. And I don’t really trust people. To call me skeptical would be an understatement. I’m the guy who wastes time Googling an even slightly sketchy sounding story posted on Facebook to see if it’s really true. So, I don’t think I would be very easy to scam.
Now, I’m not arrogant enough to think it could never happen. I’m sure there are ways I could be fooled. But I still find it really difficult to understand how some of these scammers ever make a dime. I mean, who actually believes that Nigerian prince is going to send them $8 million? Who actually goes to Target to buy gift cards to send to the Indian IRS agent? (Yes. That is a thing.) And who goes to a storage facility to buy cheap gold?
That last one … It just happened.
OK. Here’s a dilemma for you. Should I burn my gold Nikes?
Of course, this is merely a theoretical question. I don’t own gold Nikes. But I could, for a mere $3,500. Yes. Genuine, gold Nike shoes. So, if I did, would I feel any compulsion to burn them?
Well, I can answer this question with an emphatic, “No!”
How do you turn a mundane $20 bathroom appliance into a luxury item that will set you back $500?
Put some gold on it.
That’s exactly what Dyson has done. No joke. The iconic (meaning overpriced) vacuum cleaner company has developed a hairdryer gilded with 23.75-karat gold leaf.
How would you like to own a silver Rolls Royce?
I mean literally silver.
Now’s your chance.
The classic luxury car company is rolling out a limited-edition commemorative Silver Ghost – with actual silver incorporated into the design. As the AutoBlog put it, the four-door Rolls features judicious use of the precious metal.
Not too long ago, I got a call from some guy that claimed he was from the IRS. You’ve probably gotten one of these calls yourself. You pick up the phone and a guy with a thick Indian accent tells you that you are being investigated for tax fraud. Sometimes they try to scare you by telling you that they’re going to put tax liens on your house and they’re going to seize your bank accounts. The guy may even claim the sheriff is going to show up on your doorstep and throw you in the pokey.
It’s obviously BS. I mean, I know the government is broke, but I don’t think it’s quite reached the point of turning over IRS enforcement to an Indian call center. But I guess people must fall for this because I get these calls pretty frequently. I just hang up on these clowns, but sometimes people mess with them – like this kid who totally scammed the scammer by barely uttering a word.
I know what you need.
No. Not the thing you cook meat on. A grill. For your teeth. Like Drake recently got.
OK, I’m not endorsing crime here. But I have to admit, I admire the creativity and work ethic some criminals put into their craft. I always wonder what some of these people could make out of themselves if they would channel their talent into more socially constructive channels.
Take these guys from Australia. They pulled off one heck of a gold heist using a stolen sewage truck.
I was on vacation last week, so there wasn’t any Fun on Friday. But I am back, and I have some really fantastic news for you – especially if you live in Venezuela. And even if you don’t reside in that South American hell-hole, you’ll want to keep reading because the ramifications here are huugggee!
Venezuela President Nicolas Maduro fixed the country’s hyperinflation problem.
It’s Friday the 13th.
Are you scared?
Well, I ain’t skeert!