I have found the perfect way for you to wash money down the drain. I mean literally wash it down the drain.
A Lebanese company has produced a bar of soap worth an estimated $2,800.
I know what you’re thinking. Soap that costs nearly three grand? What, is it made of gold?
Why yes. Yes, it is.
I always enjoyed watching the TV show, Dirty Jobs. Mainly because it made me feel better about sitting at a computer writing stuff all day. It can be monotonous, but it certainly beats inspecting sewers, or wrangling snakes, or chicken sexing.
But what if the payoff for your dirty job was gold? Would you consider it?
Some people in India do. They scavenge through, dust, grime and sewage on Mumbai’s streets to collect gold.
A South Korean custodian made quite a find while emptying a garbage can at the Incheon International Airport last week. Inside the bin, the cleaner found seven gold bars wrapped in newspaper valued at $330,000.
That’s one heck of a good day’s at work, right? Bonus! Right?
Nope. Not so fast. As it turns out, the cleaner probably won’t get a dime, despite a South Korean “finders keepers” law.
If you’re a romantic man, at some point you might have daydreamed about stealing a queen’s heart. Well, some thieves in France did just that. Like, they literally stole her heart. As in the organ.
When Anne of Brittany died, her heart was removed and encased in pure gold. It’s been in a French museum for more than a century.
Yeah. Ewwww. That was my reaction too.
A Pakistani man decided he wanted to make a big splash at his wedding, so he took pimping to the next level. He wore a gold suit complete with gold shoes and a gold tie.
I don’t mean gold-colored shoes and a gold-colored tie. I mean literally gold shoes and a gold tie – as in made out of gold.
Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg experienced the big-boy version of getting called into the principal’s office this week. He spent about 10 hours testifying before Congress after news came out that a data firm accessed Facebook user information.
The iconic image from the hearing was Zuckerberg perched on a booster cushion. He looked like Dennis the Menace sitting in front of an entire room full of Mr. and Mrs. Wilson clones.
I’ve written several Fun on Friday columns about eating gold. I told you about the golden goose. I told you about the LA steakhouse that will serve you a nicely cooked steak garnished with gold flakes. I even told you about an Indian caterer who responded to a couple’s request to “stun” their wedding guests by making them “poop gold.”
Of course, if you’re going to eat, you’re also probably going to want to drink. If so, I’ve got something to tell you about. You’ve heard beer referred to as the “golden brew,” right? Well, a brewery in Ohio is taking that term very literally.
I used to work in local news. We covered “breaking news,” which roughly translates to “robbery, wreck, fire!” Not necessarily in that order. Becuase of our razor-sharp focus on flashy lights and screechy sirens, police scanner chatter was a ubiquitous presence in the newsroom. You gotta know where the cops and firefighters are going if you’re going to chase them.
Anyway, it was pretty common to hear about break-ins at liquor stores. Sometimes the thieves would get some cash, but regardless, they almost always made off with beer, or liquor or both. You can kind of figure why. Booze is expensive. It’s hard to hold a job when you’re a drunk. So, robbing the local liquor store is one way to keep that whistle wet.
But a thief in Denmark got more than he bargained for. He made off with the world’s most expensive vodka bottle.
Pro-tip – If you ever have to load 9.3 tons of gold, silver and platinum in an airplane, make sure you secure the load. I mean, tie it down good. You know, throw a few bungee chords over it. Or maybe a strap or two. Something. At least some rope. Because here’s a dirty little secret.
Things shift during flight.
Apparently, the guys loading the Russian AN-12 cargo plane in Siberia never read the little warnings on the overhead bins or listened to the flight attendant spiel. They loaded more than 18,000 pounds of gold and other precious metals on the plane and, as a Time Magazine report put it, “didn’t properly stabilize the load” before takeoff.
As you can probably imagine, this didn’t end well.