Fun on Friday: Thief Steals Bottle Made from Six Pounds of Gold; Drinks Vodka

I used to work in local news. We covered “breaking news,” which roughly translates to “robbery, wreck, fire!” Not necessarily in that order. Becuase of our razor-sharp focus on flashy lights and screechy sirens, police scanner chatter was a ubiquitous presence in the newsroom. You gotta know where the cops and firefighters are going if you’re going to chase them.

Anyway, it was pretty common to hear about break-ins at liquor stores. Sometimes the thieves would get some cash, but regardless, they almost always made off with beer, or liquor or both. You can kind of figure why. Booze is expensive. It’s hard to hold a job when you’re a drunk. So, robbing the local liquor store is one way to keep that whistle wet.

But a thief in Denmark got more than he bargained for. He made off with the world’s most expensive vodka bottle.

The bottle is made out of gold and silver – 3 kilograms of each precious metal. That’s 6.6 pounds. It also features a diamond-studded cap. It even has a name – the Russo-Baltique bottle. It was owned by a Russian businessman and was valued at $1.3 million. The bottle even made a cameo appearance on House of Cards.

Apparently, the Russian businessman loaned the bottle to a bar in Copenhagen and it got jacked. According to media reports, a man wearing a cap and a balaclava on his face can be seen entering the bar and taking the bottle.

Now, this raises a question.

What in the hell is a balaclava?

I had to Google it. As it turns out, it is “a close-fitting garment covering the whole head and neck except for parts of the face, typically made of wool.” In other words, the dude was wearing a ski-mask.

Anyway, according to the story in the Economic Times of India, the thief didn’t bother any of the other 1,200 vodka bottles in the bar. One would assume that’s probably because those other bottles weren’t made out of gold and silver. That would seem to indicate that the thief was probably more than just a drunk.

I have to say, this seems like a pretty risky move. I mean, we all know stealing is a dangerous proposition. I guess its kind of a risk-reward calculation. But in this case, it doesn’t seem like there’d be much of an upside. I mean, what do you do with a one-of-a-kind $1.3 million bottle that has its own name? It’s not like you can just walk into the local pawn shop and hock it. That would almost certainly raise some eyebrows. And somehow, I don’t think the thing is going to sell on eBay.

Well, as it turns out, selling the hot one-of-a-kind bottle won’t be an issue. Apparently, the guy was just a drunk. After a few days of searching, police found the bottle. It was dented.

And empty.

Yup. Our intrepid, balaclava-wearing thief drank the vodka and ditched the bottle at the entrance to a building site in Charlottenlund, an affluent district north of the Danish capital. Police say the thief got cold feet. “He placed it there because he wanted it to be found.”

Or maybe he was just a drunk that grabbed the first bottle of vodka he could get his hand on.

I’m guessing unless they catch the guy, we’ll never really know.

I’m going with a drunk who just happened to grab the $1.3 million bottle. Why? Because it’s funnier. And I like to imagine what the dude thought when he sobered up and realized he was in possession of a $1.3 million bottle and every cop in Copenhagen was looking for him. That will add some extra pain to your hangover.

So, here’s my helpful tip for the week. If you want gold, don’t steal it. Call 1-888-GOLD-160. SchiffGold can’t sell you vodka. We don’t have a liquor license. But our precious metals specialists can answer all of your questions about investing in silver and gold.

Fun on Friday is a weekly SchiffGold feature. We dig up some of the off-the wall and off-beat stories relating to precious metals and share them with you – with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Click here to read other posts in this series.