Fun on Friday: Zoe Kravitz’s Top > Oscar Statuette

The Oscars are golden.

Literally.

And in keeping with the spirit, Zoe Kravitz made sure her wardrobe matched the occasion. In fact, her wardrobe far outshined good ol’ Oscar.

Kravitz showed up to the Vanity Fair after-party donning a gold bikini. Not gold colored, mind you. Real gold. Of the 18-karat variety.

The cost of the skimpy garment came in at a cool $24,000. And it was just a top. No bottom.

According to Hola USA, Elsa Peretti (I don’t know who that is, but I’m name-dropping anyway.) designed the gold-mesh halter top. As the article put it, “the top looks like it is more suited for the beach than for a jewelry vault.”

I have to be honest, I would probably go with vault. I don’t think I would wear a $24,000 top to the beach.  Well, to be clear, I’m a dude, so I don’t generally wear any kind of top to the beach. But just thinking in generalities here, that just sounds like a bad plan. One big wave and woosh – $24,000 washes out the sea. Not to mention the riff-raff that hangs out on most beaches. I would hate to have to worry about my top getting jacked. Of course, if you can afford a $24,000 bikini top, you can probably afford a bodyguard. So, there’s that.

I have to note something else here – gold mesh isn’t very — what’s the word I’m looking for here — let’s just say modest. Revealing would be a better term. As in see-through. I’m not going to post a pic because this is a family website. (Also because it’s Getty Images and those people have created a huge revenue stream going after copyright violators.) But if you want to see – and I know some of you do – you can just click the link to the Hola US article.

Also, all of you fashion gurus can get the rundown on how you accessorize your gold bikini top. Hint – lots of diamonds.

While we’re on the subject of the Oscars, those statuettes they hand out aren’t worth nearly as much as Zoe’s top. Now, they are covered in 24-karat gold. So, that’s good. But they are primarily formed out of bronze. That’s not so good. And how much gold is there in an Oscar? Well, HuffPo tried to figure it out. There’s way too much math involved to go into here. I mean, it’s super-convoluted … which I guess coming from HuffPo isn’t all that surprising. Anyway, the bottom line is that they came up with about 0.0047 cubic inches of gold.

In other words, not much.

But get this – even with a little bit of gold and all the hoopla surrounding the Oscars, a statuette is literally only worth $1. At least that’s the market price. Why is that, you might ask? Well, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences contractually stipulates that winners cannot sell their Oscar without first offering to sell it back to the Academy for $1. So – there’s your market price.

This sounds like something the government would do.

Anyway, the bottom line is Zoe’s bikini top > than Oscar Statuette.

See — this is the kind of vital information we bring you here at Fun on Friday.

You’re welcome.

Fun on Friday is a weekly SchiffGold feature. We dig up some of the off-the-wall and off-beat stories relating to precious metals and share them with you – with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Click here to read other posts in this series.

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Photo by Prayitno via Flickr