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Fun on Friday: Who Is That Masked Man?

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Our county implemented a mandatory mask policy last week. It seems like most places are going in that direction. And even in places where the government hasn’t mandated masks, a lot of businesses are requiring them.

I know there is a lot of controversy about mask-wearing and its efficacy in stopping the spread of  The ‘Rona. I have no intention of wading into that quagmire. Regardless, this is the world we live in now, and I’ve decided that if I’m going to have to wear a mask, I’m going to have fun with it.

So whenever I’m anyplace enforcing a mask policy – I’m a ninja.

I kid you not. I have a black tactical hood that covers my entire face and head, leaving only my eyes visible. Top it off with a pair of dark sunglasses and I’m completely unidentifiable.

I seriously doubt that this is stopping the spread of a virus, but it does at least offer a slight bit of amusement. And whatever negatives might come with a mask, I count the ability to evade facial recognition as a positive!

So far, I’ve used my ninja powers to procure groceries, buy a computer monitor and walk into the ice rink. (Yes, we have to wear masks into the rink where we are going to play hockey…without masks. It’s one of the many incongruencies in this brave new world of masking.)

It’s pretty funny when you stop and think about it. If I walked into my local convenience store fully masked a few weeks ago, they probably would have assumed they were about to be robbed and called the cops. Now I’m praised as a good citizen.

I’m looking forward to my next trip to the bank.

One thing I’ve noticed is that having my face fully covered makes people uncomfortable. You can see it in their eyes. (Of course, you can only see their eyes…but still…) Again, I view this as a positive. It enhances social distancing. I was a fan of staying away from masses of people long before coronavirus.

Of course, not wearing a mask makes some people uncomfortable as well. In fact, some of those people are apt to scold you for not wrapping a rag around your face. So far, nobody has scolded ninja-Mike. Another positive.

While we’re on the subject of masks, I want to offer a few tips to my fellow mask-wearers. If you are going to do it — do it right. Because the way most people are wearing masks out there has about zero percent chance of stopping the spread of The ‘Rona.

Wearing your mask on your chin is not helping. The virus doesn’t come out of your chin.

Hanging your mask off one ear or wearing it around your neck is not helping.

Pulling the mask down to talk – not helping.

Wearing the same dirty mask three weeks straight is not helping. You may not get COVID-19, but you probably are going to get the plague.

Also, just because you are wearing a mask doesn’t make it OK for you to get into my personal space. A mask doesn’t make you invincible or invisible. Seriously, mask or no mask, I’m not a fan of having my personal space invaded. And remember – I’m a ninja.

As I said, masking seems to be the thing  – until the next thing comes along. So, I think it’s a good idea to figure out ways to make light of it. And I’ll tell you one thing you can do where you won’t have to have a mask – buy gold from SchiffGold. You can do the whole thing over the phone. No mask needed!

Fun on Friday is a weekly SchiffGold feature. We dig up some of the off-the-wall and off-beat stories relating to precious metals and share them with you – with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Click here to read other posts in this series.


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About The Author

Michael Maharrey is the managing editor of the SchiffGold blog, and the host of the Friday Gold Wrap Podcast and It's Your Dime interview series.
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