Fun on Friday: The Kooky World of Internet Scams

If you check your spam folder right now, I can almost guarantee that you will find that somebody has sent you a scam email. They promise you cash, business opportunities and sometimes they even promise you riches in silver and gold!

I just checked my spam folder. Here’s what I got.

Very Necessary You Contact Us …(202) 389-9186″

If you spend any time perusing scam emails, you’ll almost always find scammers can’t spell. Nor can they apply even the most rudimentary rules of English grammar. Of course, most of these scam emails come from overseas, so English probably isn’t the scammer’s first language. And in their defense, it seems the vast majority of Americans can’t spell or apply rudimentary grammatical skills, either.  Maybe the guys who get paid to draft scam emails are just imitating what they see in the comment section of my Facebook page.

Still, one would think scam effectiveness would increase if they delivered a remotely comprehensible, professional email. Then again, maybe not. Anybody who would actually call (202) 389-9186 to claim their $4.8 million probably isn’t paying much attention to spelling and grammar.

So yeah, I apparently have $4.8 million waiting for me at  712 H St NE in Washington, DC 2000. Don’t ask me what the “2000” means. Maybe I have to time-travel back to the turn of the century to collect? Anyway, my funds were delivered “by an African Delivery Union Organization.”

Sounds legit, right?

Just for fun, I Googled that address. It appears it’s a check cashing business. But the company also does shipping. So, yeah. This totally checks out so far!

There’s an added bonus here. If my funds came by check, I can cash it right there. And buy office supplies. Gotta love one-stop-shopping.

The good news is I don’t even have to travel to D.C. to claim my riches. All I have to do is provide a few scraps of information and Mr. Ben William will send the money right to me.

Provides us with the following details to enable us verify (sic) and deliver the funds to the right destination.

Your full name………

Your phone number……..

Your current house address……..

A copy of your identity card…….

A copy of your photograph……..

One thing I have to say. These scammers are polite. Ben thanked me for my “compliance.” There’s a word that fills you with warm, fuzzy feelings, eh?

OK. Confession time. I’ve been tempted to answer these scam emails.

No, no. Not because I actually think I might really be rich as long as I answer in three days. No. I just think it would be amusing to mess with these people.

Well, one guy did it and he made a pretty funny video chronicling his experience.

Some dude named Solomon Oddonkoh (a much better fake name than Ben William) wrote James Veitch and told him he had “an interesting business proposal.”  It seems Solomon’s plan was to send James gold. James would then earn “10% of any gold you distributes.”

James was excited because he figured he could “distributes” a lot of gold!

Now, much to James’ disappointment, Solomon wanted to start him out with just a “small quantity” of the yellow metal – just 25 kilograms. That’s about 55 pounds for those of you who don’t have your metric to English weight converter handy.

Well, James was having none of this “start small” strategy. He told Solomon “If we’re going to do it – let’s go big.” He demanded a metric ton of gold.

The ensuing email exchange is pretty hilarious. You should definitely take the three minutes to watch it.

By the way, I’m pretty busy today, so I’m probably not going to have time to claim my $4.8 mil. But if you’d be willing to do it for me, I’ll give you 10%. Just email me all your personal info to mmaharrey@schiffgold.com and I’ll make that happen for you.  Oh. I’ll also need your social.

Or, you could go about preserving and increasing your wealth in a more traditional way. Give one of our SchiffGold precious metals specialists a call at 1-888-GOLD-160 and they can help you add gold and silver to your investment portfolio. They may need to collect some personal info, but I can assure you they will deliver the goods!

Fun on Friday is a weekly SchiffGold feature. We dig up some of the off-the-wall and off-beat stories relating to precious metals and share them with you – with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Click here to read other posts in this series.

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