Fun on Friday: Televangelist Jim Bakker Says Silver Gel Will Cure Your VD
Fun on Friday is supposed to be fun, but I also like to think of it as a public service. So, today, I’m here to help.
If you have a venereal disease, televangelist Jim Bakker has the cure. Yes indeed! I feel it’s my duty to provide you with this information. I mean, who doesn’t want to instantly wipe out the consequences of that drunk 2 minutes when you were 16?
No. Jim’s not going to lay hands on you or anoint you with oil. That would be gross and highly inappropriate. Instead, all you have to do is head over to Bakker’s store, plunk down $100 and you’ll get the “Silver Solution” starter kit.
Seriously. That’s what it’s called “Silver Solution.” Because, you know, it has silver in it. Clever huh? The guy’s a marketing genius.
Anyway, our esteemed tele-preacher says this stuff will heal every venereal disease. Yes. All of them. Just like that. It’s “a miracle in a tube.”
"It's a miracle in a tube": Jim Bakker is now selling a "silver gel" that he claims "gets rid of all venereal diseases." pic.twitter.com/juUgu2Zn82
— Right Wing Watch (@RightWingWatch) June 22, 2018
This fills my head with all kinds of question. Most of them, I’m not going to ask because Fun on Friday is rated PG-13, not rated R. But seriously, what made venereal disease pop into Jim Bakker’s head at that moment? Of all the things to tout, he goes to VD. Is this the voice of experience talking? Or does he just assume a lot of his audience might have some kind of venereal disease and this will get them to hit that “buy” button?
I would love to be able to see the thought process that whizzed through Jim’s brain in the seconds before “venereal disease” popped out of his mouth.
Considering the average age of his audience is probably about 75 makes this even more amusing.
“Henry. Henry! Did he just say “venereal disease?”
“What?? What Ethel?”
“I think Jim just said you can buy this stuff that cures venereal disease.”
“No. He said if you pray hard enough you can find your keys.”
“Oh. OK. That’s a relief. Good Christian people shouldn’t be talking about that kind of thing.
Here’s the thing. Silver actually does have amazing antibacterial properties. Silver is used in a number of medical applications. In fact, an assistant professor at Canadian University Dubai invented “space gum” for astronauts in manned missions to Mars. Wrapped in star-shaped silver packaging, the gum is formulated to boost immunity and fight infection. It contains natural gum, silver particles, date paste, honey, and vitamin C. That’s just one (very cool) example. Silver is used to control bacteria in numerous clinical settings and in hundreds of antibacterial products. Corning has even developed a silver-based Antimicrobial Gorilla Glass that resists microbial growth. So, silver does have medicinal and health benefits.
But I’ve got bad news. It’s not going to cure your VD. Sorry. It’s just not.
So, if you’re wondering what to do with that $100 you were about to send to Rev. Bakker, I’ve got a suggestion. You should still buy silver.
The white metal often gets overlooked because people focus on gold. But silver also affords an opportunity to preserve and increase wealth. The silver-gold ratio has been over 75-to-1 for months. In simplest terms, it indicates that silver is at a bargain price. Compare today’s number with the historic average ratio which hovers around 16:1. The modern average over the last century is around 40:1. As Peter Schiff has said, “This is silver on sale.”
For more information on silver as part of your investment portfolio, talk to a SchiffGold precious metals specialist today. They can’t fix your VD either. But they can definitely answer your questions about silver and gold.
Fun on Friday is a weekly SchiffGold feature. We dig up some of the off-the-wall and off-beat stories relating to precious metals and share them with you – with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Click here to read other posts in this series.
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