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Fun on Friday: Move the Gold; Build a Bar

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So, budgets are tight everywhere, right? Even at the Bank of England.

Well, that’s not altogether true. It would be more accurate to say the central bank wastes a lot of money. Some government functionary got wind of it and now there’s a scramble to tighten things up over at the BoE.

Said government functionary came up with one interesting solution that would actually generate a little revenue for the bank. But there was one tiny problem with the plan.

Let me roll back a little and start at the beginning.

This whole saga began when, according to Reuters, members of parliament’s Public Accounts Committee got hold of a report by government auditors. The report criticized the BoE for having more than 800 empty desks at its historic Threadneedle Street home.

Wait. Eight-hundred empty desks? That’s a lot of empty real estate. And England isn’t even in the midst of a government shutdown. It kind of makes you wonder what 800 jobs aren’t getting done anymore. It also makes you wonder why the auditor is upset. Seems to me the BoE is doing a great job if it managed to shed 800 employees.

Anyway, who knows? I mean, it’s entirely possible that those 800 jobs were “non-essential.” That’s a thing, you know.

The bottom line is there is a lot of empty space in the BoE’s London home. And government efficiency demands something must be done with that vacant space.

So, how about a pub?

Yup. That’s the idea committee chair Meg Hillier came up with. Rent the space out to Wetherspoon’s, a popular chain of pubs known for refurbishing abandoned high street premises such as banks.

It’s really not a bad idea if you think about it. It would drastically shorten the distance bankers would have to stumble after a 3-martini lunch. They’d already be right there at the office. And of course, it would generate a little extra money for the Bank of England. That might come in handy as the Brits weather the Brexit fiasco.

But as it turns out, there’s a little problem with Hillier’s plan. Bradley Fried, the chair of the BoE’s Court of Directors, pointed this out.

Threadneedle Street is a little bit unique, in that we are sitting on top of what is literally 140 billion pounds ($180 billion) worth of physical gold, actual physical gold.”

He thought putting a bar on top of the country’s gold reserves might not be such a good idea. He called it a potential security risk.

I dunno though. A bunch of drunks on top of a gold vault? What could go wrong?

Meg though … you have to give her credit. She’s nothing if not an efficient government functionary. She wasn’t going to let a little gold deter her plan. She suggested moving the gold from its high-security vaults to a cheaper location, “to maximize income from Threadneedle Street.”

Again. What could go wrong? Just move $180 billion worth of gold to a “cheaper location.” Why overspend on securing your gold? I mean — we can put a pub in this building. It’s brilliant, really!

Or maybe not so brilliant. Apparently, the plan is no-go. According to Reuters, the BoE will take the more cost-effective approach of moving some staff at another nearby office to Threadneedle Street. This might allow the other building to be partly leased out instead.

Good call, probably.

I don’t know about you, but if I were in charge of $180 billion in gold, I’d want to keep it as secure as possible. This would preclude moving it to “a cheaper location” or putting a bar on top of it. But hey, that’s just me. I may not be qualified to serve as a government functionary.

If you own gold, wouldn’t you want it to be as secure as possible? SchiffGold can help with that. We offer vault storage services. We also have information on safe storage. You can call one of our SchiffGold precious metals specialists for more info. They may also be able to point you to toward a good pub in Manhatten. But it probably won’t be sitting on top of $180 billion in gold.

Fun on Friday is a weekly SchiffGold feature. We dig up some of the off-the-wall and off-beat stories relating to precious metals and share them with you – with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Click here to read other posts in this series.

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About The Author

Michael Maharrey is the managing editor of the SchiffGold blog, and the host of the Friday Gold Wrap Podcast and It's Your Dime interview series.
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