Fun on Friday: Lost or Stolen?

“Officer, I need to report my wife. She lost her gold necklaces.”

That’s basically what happened in Strongsville, Ohio, recently.

According to the police blotter, a man showed up at the police station to report the theft of two Cartier necklaces valued at $5,000.

The problem is, there was apparently no evidence that the necklaces were actually stolen. According to the report, “The man hinted that he wasn’t sure if his wife had lost them or they were stolen.”

So, yeah. She lost them.

Or maybe she pawned them to buy something nice for her boyfriend.  Who knows?

Regardless, it doesn’t appear a theft was involved. The man told police there was no evidence of forced entry. Nothing else was missing. I’m going to guess that if the woman has two necklaces worth $5 large, she’s probably got other jewelry laying around the house. Really, there is no evidence of a theft at all other than the gold is gone.

And now for a little plot twist. Maybe the wife didn’t lose the necklaces at all!

Here’s a line in the report I found curious.

“He was sure his kids wouldn’t have taken the jewelry.”

When I read that, I think, “Yeah, the kids probably took the jewelry.”

“Son, where did you get that new X-Box?”

“Oh, I found it in the neighbor’s trash.”

Yeah. OK.

And all this time, I thought it was the wife.

No. If I was a betting man (I’m not) my money would go on the kids. Because, what are the odds that a wife is actually going to lose not one by two gold necklaces? I have a wife and this I know: she’s not about to lose her gold. She might lose her glasses. She might lose her cell phone. She might even lose her mind. But she’s keeping close tabs on her gold.

As well she should.

And so should you.

You see, there is a little lesson in this story. Take care of your gold! Put it someplace safe and secure where it can’t be “lost” or stolen by sticky-fingered kids. SchiffGold can help with that. They can connect you with both vaulting services and safe storage.

Seriously. You don’t want to be like this guy reporting that your wife lost your gold. That’s almost as bad as “my dog at my homework.”

Fun on Friday is a weekly SchiffGold feature. I dig up some of the off-the-wall and off-beat stories relating to precious metals and share them with you – with tongue firmly planted in cheek. The opinions expressed are my own. They are 100% correct – but not necessarily shared by anybody else here – including Peter Schiff. Click here to read other posts in this series.