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Fun on Friday: Let the Politicians Fight It Out in the Cage

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I’ve got an idea. It’s not really original, but I think it’s fantastic and worth considering here as we get close to the Fourth of July holiday. How about if we build a big cage in Washington D.C. and let the politicians just fight it out MMA-style?

I mean, that’s pretty much the level most of these people operate on anyway. They are all just blustering around with their chests all puffed out. The problem is, they always end up dragging us into their beefs.

Take the trade war. It’s costing us all billions. Why not just let Trump and Xi get into the cage and fight it out? Winner gets his way in the trade war. Problem solved and at a much lower cost to you and me.

Tell me this isn’t a brilliant idea!

Think of the matchups! Pelosi v. McConnell, Bernie v. Rand. Trump v. well, pretty much everybody.

I think first up needs to be Trump vs. Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell. Those two have been going at it for months. Trump has taken on the role of playground bully, relentlessly teasing the Fed chair. Powell keeps trying the “I’m not gonna fight you approach.” But still, you know he wants to let everybody know he isn’t about to be pushed around by the president. He spent a good chunk of a speech this week reiterating the political independence of the Fed. Of course, we all know this is utter BS. The Fed is the quintessential political institution. But it likes to maintain this myth of being above the fray. Powell said, “The Fed is insulated from short-term political pressures — what is often referred to as our ‘independence.’”

OK Jerome, keep telling yourself that. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

To be honest, Trump doesn’t seem to give two-wits about the central banks alleged independence. He continued attacking Powell the very next day, saying he “made” Powell. He also said he’d rather have European Central Bank President Mario Draghi running the US central bank. Of course, the ECB has been ahead of the curve on easy money. Draghi is already talking about more quantitative easing. Trump wants that easy-money gravy train here in the good ol’ US of A. What he really wants is for the bubbles to stay inflated until after the 2020 election.

I have to admit, I think it’s funny that the president of the US acts like a middle-school bully. I mean he really does. He said of Powell “Here’s a guy nobody ever heard of him before, and now I made him, and he wants to show how tough he is.”

The appropriate response from Powell would be, “Oh yeah? Meet me behind the football stadium after fifth period.”

Seriously though, this back-and-forth creates uncertainty in the markets. That’s no good. So, let’s let Powell and Trump step into the cage and fight it out. If Trump wins, he gets his rate cuts. If he loses, well, he still gets his rate cuts because the Fed is going that way regardless. Still, I wanna see the fight!

I’m not sure who I’d take. Trump has the size advantage. But Powell is younger and you have to watch those wiry guys.

We could also avoid a messy war with Iran by letting Trump step into the cage with Iranian President Hassan Rouhani. The other day, Rouhani described new economic sanctions imposed by Trump as “outrageous,” “idiotic,” and a sign of US desperation.” Rouhani said, “The White House actions mean it is mentally retarded.”

Which just goes to show the US president isn’t the only world leader capable of wielding schoolyard insults.

Trump responded by saying, “Oh yeah, I’ll kick your ass.”

Well, basically.

He called Rouhani’s statement “ignorant and insulting,” and threatened to retaliate against any Iranian aggression with “great and overwhelming force.”

“In some areas overwhelming will mean obliteration.”

Now, do we really need to obliterate things because of a little spat between two politicos? I say no. Let them fight it out in the cage. And if Trump is worn out from his go-round with Powell, John Bolton can step into the cage and face off against the Iranian. He’s been jonesing for that for years anyway. We could call it the great mustache-beard match.

I really think this is the solution to most political issues. Put the politicians in a cage. Let them beat each other to a bloody pulp. We’ll get a few hours of entertainment. But more importantly, it will keep us out of all of this tomfoolery!

Fun on Friday is a weekly SchiffGold feature. We dig up some of the off-the-wall and off-beat stories relating to precious metals and share them with you – with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Click here to read other posts in this series.

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