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Fun on Friday: He Put 2 Pounds of Gold Where?

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People will do just about anything to avoid paying taxes. Case in point – a man from Dubai shoved about 2 pounds of gold — where the sun don’t shine —  in order to avoid paying customs taxes in India.

Yes. I said two pounds.

Up his butt.


The man caught the attention of authorities’ at Kerala’s Kannur airport because he was “walking funny.”

Well, yes. I imagine he was. You’ve heard the old saying, “He walks like he has a corncob up his butt?” Well, imagine more than two pounds of gold rammed up there.

They caught a second man on the same flight carrying nearly three pounds of gold, but officials didn’t say whether he concealed the metal in the same manner.

According to the report from The National, a UAE news site, “Officials at the Air Intelligence Unit extracted the gold from the man.”

Have I mentioned ouch?

I do not want to know how they extracted that gold. And I sure as heck don’t want the job of butt-gold extractor.

So, what would motivate a man to shove two pounds of metal in his rectum? *shudder* India imposes an 18% “goods and services tax” on imported gold. That makes smuggling in the precious metal extremely profitable.

Now there are less uncomfortable ways to smuggle gold. Officials say travelers returning to India often hide gold in chocolate boxes, purses, umbrellas and pens in an attempt to evade taxes. But none of those options provides the total concealment that putting the gold inside your body offers.

This isn’t the first time people have tried to smuggle gold inside their bodies. For instance, in 2018, three men got busted after they swallowed small bags containing about 80 grams of gold in an attempt to smuggle it into India from Kuala Lumpur. Again, their “walking style” tipped customs officials off.

Here’s another one – authorities say s South Korean ring of 51 people reportedly smuggled in more than two tons of gold from Tokyo inside their rectums and vaginas over a 2-year span. South Korean customs agents said, “As our crackdown gets tougher, smugglers are also getting more sophisticated in hiding gold or other jewelry products they want to bring in.”

Anyway, gold smuggling is a big business. And by business, I mean criminal enterprise. One report I read said gold is the fifth-most smuggled item in the world. It ranks higher than food, cigarettes, and cash. Unsurprisingly, drugs are the most common smuggled item. Exotic animals rank above gold as well. I wonder if anybody has tried to smuggle an exotic snail inside them?

Probably. Because people are nuts.

So, what’s the lesson here? Well, I don’t really have one. Maybe don’t smuggle gold? Or if you’re going to smuggle gold, don’t walk funny. No. Let’s just stick with don’t smuggle gold.

Also, don’t buy smuggled gold. You don’t know where that’s stuff’s been. If you’re going to buy gold, talk to a SchiffGold precious metals specialist.

Fun on Friday is a weekly SchiffGold feature. We dig up some of the off-the-wall and off-beat stories relating to precious metals and share them with you – with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Click here to read other posts in this series.


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About The Author

Michael Maharrey is the managing editor of the SchiffGold blog, and the host of the Friday Gold Wrap Podcast and It's Your Dime interview series.
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