Fun on Friday: Golden Dad Jokes

As a dad, I have to confess to delivering my fair share of dad jokes. You know what I mean, right? I’m talking about those jokes that make the kids’ eyes roll into the back of their heads and elicit groans from the wife.

Let’s be honest; dad isn’t funny. And that’s what makes dad jokes so funny.

So to kick off your weekend, I bring you some dad jokes related to gold I plucked off the interwebs.

So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my co-workers found gold. I said AU, bring that over here!

What kind of dogs do miners like best? Golden retrievers.

How did the iron bar and gold bar start dating? They met on TINder.

Why is the planet Mercury filled with beryllium, gold, and titanium? Because Mercury is Be – Au – Ti – Full!

What do you call a gold-digger? A miner, duh.

I was digging in my garden when I found a treasure chest full of gold. I was about to run inside and tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging in my garden. (Yikes!)

My friend has a shovel made of gold. I guess you could call him a Gold digger.

My puns are AUsome! I mean, they are pure gold.

What’s the difference between a cat and gold? More people want gold.

Why did the prospector get kicked out of the pub? It’s illegal to sell alcohol to miners.

What did the gold collector bake for dessert? Karat cake.

Why was the underground miner depressed He couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Why did the miner quit his job? Because every time he put his helmet on he felt light-headed.

What’s another name for fake gold nugget A Shamrock.

Why did the robber break into the canoe store? He heard that gold is found in ores.

How do you make gold soup? Add 24 karats.

What do you call a piece of gold that is afraid of the spiders? A chicken nugget.

What kind of music does gold listen to? Rock.

Where can you always find gold every single time you look? The dictionary.

Fun on Friday is a weekly SchiffGold feature. I dig up some of the off-the-wall and off-beat stories relating to precious metals and share them with you – with tongue firmly planted in cheek. The opinions expressed are my own. They are 100% correct – but not necessarily shared by anybody else here – including Peter Schiff. Click here to read other posts in this series.