Fun on Friday: Your Golden Goose Is Cooked

I’ve mentioned this several times in these Fun on Friday columns, but the whole phenomenon of eating gold fascinates me.

Because, really, it’s kind of weird.

I eat shrimp because I love the taste of shrimp. I eat broccoli because at some point in the distant past. my mother convinced me it was good for me. I eat donuts because – well – donuts!

But why eat gold?

It has no taste. It has no nutritional value. And there is so much I can do with gold when it isn’t sitting in my gut or flushing through the sewer system.

Basically, people eat gold so they can tell other people they ate gold. I guess it’s some kind of status thing. But I have to be honest; if you walk up to me and say, “Hey Mike, I ate some gold,” I’m going to give you a weird look and probably tell you, “Well, that was dumb.”

I can be rude like that.

But apparently, my attitude toward gold eating isn’t universal. Enough people want to eat gold to maintain a market for gold food. I don’t get it – but hey – go capitalism!

The latest gold food item I ran across was brought to you by AmazonFresh. The online retailer teamed up with a fifth-generation family butcher in Holland Park, England, to bring to you a golden goose.

Here’s the description courtesy of The Week.

This remarkable dish stars a generous 4.5-5kg free-range goose from the Seldom Seen Farm in Leicester, covered in 24-carat edible gold leaf, which is applied to the bird once it is cooked and rested. The resulting ‘golden goose’ is not only beautiful to look at, but will more than satisfy six guests.”

According to the article, golden goose was a favorite of King Henry VIII. I know a lot of people are really into doing things because of tradition and stuff. And there’s this whole fascination with royals. “Ooh! The king did it! That’s really cool! We’ll do it too!” Well, that’s all well and good until you consider the fact that King Henry also lopped off his wife’s head so he could marry another woman. Talk about your goose being cooked.

Anyway, my point is just because kings did it doesn’t necessarily make it a good idea.

Annie Gray, TV Food Historian and research associate at the University of York, tried to explain the allure of golden food.

Gilding food has long been a mark of tremendous prestige, showing off wealth and the skills of one’s cooks. Gold not only looked good in and of itself, but it reflected the light from fires and candles, glittering across the table and competing with the rich jewels and gold-and-silver-embroidered clothing of the privileged diners around it. In the medieval and Tudor era, gilded roast centrepieces were the ultimate showstopper on the winter feast table. A cheaper option was to use paste containing saffron or safflower, but nothing beats real edible gold.”

Yeah. OK. Whatever. That sounds exotic, sophisticated, refined and all. But I think the real reason most people are into wrapping their food in the yellow metal is that they want to poop gold.

I think I’ll pass (pun intended). I’m not really into flushing money down the toilet. I’m going to stick with investing in gold.  I’ll keep it and enjoy the wealth it affords.

If you’re interested in doing the same, call 1-888-GOLD-160. Our precious metals specialists don’t eat gold (at least I don’t think they do), but they can help you find the best way to make precious metals a part of your investment portfolio.

Fun on Friday is a weekly SchiffGold feature. We dig up some of the off-the wall and off-beat stories relating to precious metals and share them with you – with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Click here to read other posts in this series.