Table for 1: The Solo Service Economy
A last measure of desperation and relational duress in the 1980s is today a common sight. Film and TV from an era even as recent as the early 2000s now seems both frighteningly prophetic and offensive. The species of the solo diner has recently grown in both number and severity, particularly in the last 4 years. While media portrayed solo diners as outcasts, or those receiving the short end of the stick romantically, there have been pseudo-humorous cries to destigmatize this increasingly common arrangement. These cries reflect a fundamentally different underlying reality than the one of the world that laughed at these loners. Food bloggers and corporate media have all eagerly hopped on the trend to make solo dining cool. They create numerous rankings of “solo-friendly” dining options. This new world is full of people who must dine alone because they live alone, sleep alone, and fight their mental battles alone. The right to dine alone in dignity is a necessary reflection of our current societal condition.
The new prevalence of this condition is such that businesses in the service industry must restructure how they operate if they hope to stay competitive. Restaurants with large tables built to hold thriving friend groups and bustling families must offer some smaller options or risk inefficiently using their seating. Group discounts have lost their bite when many people cannot even get a large group together to celebrate a birthday or other traditionally significant occasion. The past model of waiting tables is far less efficient, as many small tables require more coordination and transactions. Many newer food spots have shifted towards an order counter and food court style seating. Solo dining has rewritten the rules of dining in a way that is spreading to even more obscure and traditional restaurants.
While this trend in restaurant attendance may seem to be nothing more than an inconvenient economic reality, it is merely symptom of a profound loss of community in first world countries. While family, religion, work, and various social organizations used to form connections that made loneliness rare, those institutions have either become rejected or hollow shells of their former greatness. After high school or college graduation, family ties disintegrate in a way almost unseen in the history of the world. Parents living in the same city become afterthoughts or alienated due to disagreements that would have been overlooked in previous generations. Individual pride exacerbated by internet media often leads to a mismatch between the company available to people and the companions they think they deserve.
This sort of society destroying loneliness cannot be fully solved through policy, as it is far too intricate and personal to respond predictably to any set of rules. While policy can’t fix this issue, it can certainly undo some of the damage that it has created. For example, rigid division by grade in schools has a deleterious effect on friend selection. This rigidity stigmatizes friendships between people only a few years different than oneself that persists for many years after school is finished. Lobbyist-driven support of consumerism is also deleterious to the loneliness epidemic, as individuals are fed the default message that their lack of items or experiences is at the root of their unhappiness. Government can take some of the scientific reality that people suffer greatly from a lack of community into their future policy decisions.
This root problem can only be fixed through a society-wide reevaluation of values and lifestyle. Family must be treasured more dearly, and friends must be valued far above their usefulness. Friendships will not persist if people ask only what they can get from the relationship. People with transactional minds will ask the same question with people that they do with any purchase, “how do I benefit?” The millennial dream of an independent life with a rich ecosystem of friends has proven to be hollow on numerous occasions. Without a great amount of loyalty or humility, friend groups will inevitably decay, creating once again our main problem of single diners. People will forever lack community if they search for a community that checks their boxes and can serve them. People need to recognize that value of individuals and communities outside of their status or special interests. Any group that one remains loyal to will reward them for their loyalty, and they will find community regardless of their initial hesitations.
