When I was a kid, we used to play the opposite game. Everything you said had to be the opposite of what you meant. For example, if you were hungry, you’d say, “I’m not hungry.” Or if you really liked the song on the radio, you’d say, “This song sucks.”
Well, politicians play the opposite game pretty much all the time.
So, what do you have in your basement?
My house in Kentucky is built on a concrete slab. And right now I’m in Florida. Here we call a basement an in-ground pool. So, I can’t really answer that question. But my grandfather had a basement. It was full of junk.
I’m guessing that’s probably the norm.
Did you hear about the Venezuelan nationals who got busted trying to smuggle $5 million worth of gold bars into the US through a Fort Lauderdale airport?
True story.
The duo had 230 pounds of gold stuffed into the nose of a private Cessna jet. Customs officials discovered a hidden compartment when they noticed some loose rivets on the nose and decided to take a closer look.
My potty got jacked.
There are four words you’ll probably never say. Who steals toilets, right?
But your problem is you don’t have a solid gold toilet. If you did, it might indeed get jacked. In fact, burglars snatched a 18-karat gold potty valued at about $6 million out of Blenheim Palace in England.
It’s Friday the 13th!
You know what? It already seems lucky to me. Heck, it’s Friday. That’s a pretty good start!
I’ve never been one to get all torqued up about the number 13 anyway. In fact, I kind of like it. My preferred hockey number is 33 in honor of Patrick Roy and just because it has nice symmetry. But if it’s not available, I’ll go with 13. Why not mock the number gods, right?
Did you know that Snopes has fact-checked the Babylon Bee on multiple occasions? True story. In the obsession to root out “fake news,” fact-checking sites have resorted to fact-checking satire and parody articles.
As I write this, Hurricane Dorian is taking aim at Florida. What’s fun about that? you might ask. Well, nothing. And I don’t want to minimize the potential for disaster. But the hurricane hasn’t hit yet and the runup to a storm provides a lot of amusement and some educational moments. I just can’t resist.
Here’s a tip for you.
If some guy comes up to you in a gas station parking lot and tries to sell you gold, don’t buy it.
Seriously. Just say, “No!”
Politicians are liars.
I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you this. Let’s just call it a friendly reminder.
I was reminded of this fact as I wrote an article about the anniversary of Richard Nixon slamming shut the gold window for the Tenth Amendment Center.
I want Fun on Friday to be, well, fun. But I also want to provide a public service to you, my dear readers. Today, I have a really good pro-tip for you.
Close your vault.
And lock it.
