When I was a kid, I thought people in elected offices were among the brightest and best. Then I grew up, started interacting with politicians and realized they are no smarter than anybody else. And in fact, a lot of them are downright dumb.
Well, I’ve got an Oklahoma lawmaker for you that fits neatly into the downright dumb category.
Would you pay $500 for a brownie?
Now, before you answer rashly, let me tell you something important about this brownie.
It’s covered in 24-karat gold.
So, budgets are tight everywhere, right? Even at the Bank of England.
Well, that’s not altogether true. It would be more accurate to say the central bank wastes a lot of money. Some government functionary got wind of it and now there’s a scramble to tighten things up over at the BoE.
Said government functionary came up with one interesting solution that would actually generate a little revenue for the bank. But there was one tiny problem with the plan.
Did you hear what President Trump did to Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi? He grounded her airplane — 40 minutes before she was supposed to take off on a big excursion.
Whether you love Trump or hate him, you have to admit he’s the greatest troll to ever occupy the Oval Office.
Bayern Munich soccer star Franck Ribéry struck back at detractors who went after him on social media because he had the audacity to post a video of himself eating a steak covered in 24-karat gold.
Oh, the horror!
You know how to win the New Year’s resolutions game?
Don’t make any.
It’s as simple as that. As the saying goes, don’t make promises you can’t keep. Don’t write checks your willpower can’t cash. Don’t overplay your hand.
This strategy has certainly worked for me.
How are you weathering the great government shutdown of 2018?
We’re in day seven now. It’s been tough here in Lexington. I’m pretty sure I saw some kid setting up an unauthorized lemonade stand. I’m not sure we will survive the plague that’s sure to follow without the FDA to put a lid on such things.
Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer is my favorite Christmas special. And Yukon Cornelious is one of my favorite characters in the show. I mean what’s not to like, right? He’s a man’s man. He openly carries a gun. He travels with cornmeal and gunpowder and ham hocks and guitar strings. And he’s always on the lookout for silver and gold.
Smart guy!
Bling isn’t really my thing. But a lot of people enjoy sporting gold jewelry. Well, a 36-year-old businessman in Vietnam takes bling to a whole new level.
Tran Ngoc Phuc wears a total of 13kg of gold wherever he goes. If you don’t have your kilograms to pounds calculator handy, that about 28.7 pounds of gold.
Did you hear about Kylie Jenner’s gold Christmas tree?
I didn’t either. Well, I guess I did. But not on purpose. I was doing my normal morning search for gold news when I stumbled on a few stories about the celeb’s tree. Apparently, people do follow this stuff on purpose, and Kylie’s trees are a big deal.
